Friday, November 17, 2006

welcome to the new flesh....

couldn't think of a better, more apropos title than from david cronenberg's videodrome. after all, what could be more "new flesh" than the life of a person who is transgendered? it is, in so many ways, taking on a new life, it's the will of spirit to reframe the exterior that transforms the interior... it's the slow demolition of the gender binary he/she while at times reinforcing it.... new ways of looking at the world and how it looks at you. it is scary, it is exciting, and long live, viva, the new flesh!

it's not so much that this blog will be about the same things as videodrome, but rather, contemplation of being transgendered, personal ruminations, politics, hopefully some short stories, and thoughts about media (film, music , video games and television). i suppose that with the last bit there is some overlap. and i do love the middle films of cronenberg-- the fly, existenz, crash, dead zone, naked lunch... there is something i find so understandable about "body horror" it is about being betrayed by one's body. something i think most transpeople can relate to.

explanation under belt, now, let's move on to other things: i should warn you, i write in "emailese." if you are looking for capitol letters at the start of sentences, strict rules of syntax, turn back now. i write as things occur to me, and i try to check things, but i don't always get it all. to me this is about getting the thought out. hopefully, on my best days, my take on things will provoke you to think and question.

my history with blogs is... checkered... i did have a blog about many sordid things. escorting for a living, my personal life when i was very much in love, my job... i have had the trifecta of getting-burnt-from-something-in-my-blog. lost my job, girlfriend, and my life went to hell. sadly (or not so sadly for those i wrote about), the site i blogged on burnt to the ground-- in a way and i lost all of those years of writing. but after a couple year's hiatus, i miss it. i need it. it put things in perspective and gave me another useless artistic outlet. something i can never have enough of. i used to joke that i had 3 readers, a record that i hope to maintain. as much as i write this for me, it is good to have a few readers. but as i said this is about getting the thought out.

so there.

-nicki

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